Learning to Love

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One might think it odd that we have to “learn” to love someone. Unfortunately love and or hate, is dispensed via the situation. That isn’t committed love, but rather “feelings” love.

Scripture reminds us in Titus chapter two, that older women are to teach the younger women how to love their husbands. Seems odd doesn’t it? And love their children? That seems even more odd! But love to last through hard times as in committed love, has to be learned,

The same holds true with many types of relationships. We have to learn how to love again in a new way with a purpose in mind. The deepest of loves will forfeit the “wants” of the one deciding on how much to love. That kind of love has to be thought out and focused. We choose to release that love when we choose to release ourselves from the need to be right.

There may come a time in your life when you will have to learn how to love again. I will say to you that it won’t be easy. It won’t be “butterflies and rainbows”, but rather a love that will forge through the most difficult of times.  How the other receives it is their choice. Just do the right thing-because it is the right thing to do.

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Unresolved Pain

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I was listening to Dr. James McDonald the other day and his talk resonated with me. He said, “When there is sin, there is unresolved pain.” He is right! When we hurt in deep places, our resolve is not always what it should be in order to heal.

Dr. McDonald continued by suggesting three things to do with unresolved pain….
~NAME IT
~GRIEVE IT
~LEAVE IT.

He went on to share an example– the issue of betrayal by a spouse. One can either talk about the “betrayal” or define it another way (NAME IT) as in–“The Day My Eyes Were Opened.” What this does is take the negative and hurt of betrayal and use it to better yourself and become more wise. There is a tendency to define ourselves by our hurts. Ive done that. There is much freedom when we release ourselves from the pain.

We should grieve our loss. And we grieve in various ways. There is no right way or wrong way, but rather understanding that grieving is normal. However, there can be a tendency to get stuck in grief and never let it go, or use it to justify who you are and why you do what you do.

Leaving the “House of Mourning” is not easy. It requires change and a different way to think. Oddly enough, some feel the most comfortable in grief and resist the idea of change. If that happens, I would suggest seeking professional help.

But one thing we must remember is that when you are in pain, our Lord is there with you…HE is in it after all.  Song~You Were in it After All

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Growing With Your Kids

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Watching your kids grow up has many facets. There’s joy and sorrow and moments that are impressed in your mind forever.

One thing that happens during the “growing” years when you child is close to home and when they are not, is figuring out how you as the parent will develop in your role as a parent.

The heart of a parent will always walk around in the heart of their child. When you see your child, you see your heart. If the child is living ungodly, your heart hurts. When they succeed, your heart swells with love. When they are far away, you miss them more than ever.

Our purpose as a parent is to learn when and how to stop and tweak. Kids at 2, 12, 16, 20, 30…require us as parents to redefine our place. But one thing that will never be redefined, is our love. It will last through every age and stage of our kids lives.

God hears from me a lot about my kids. But HE hears from me more about me and how to live and learn while I watch my life change as the lives of my kids change. It’s hard. But I’ve yet to learn life’s hard lessons in an easy way.

Stop Yourself

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It’s that afterthought when you realized…you should have Stopped Yourself. You said something you shouldn’t, you made a gesture that was inappropriate, your behavior was poor and perhaps un-Christlike.

Learning when to stop the wrong response begins at a very early age. It should be taught at home. But wonder if Mom and Dad are “blow-up” people also? The bottom line is this; there is way to respond and there is a better way to respond to words or actions that are not so palatable. You have to learn to Stop Yourself.

I have been yelled at, had “in your face” deliveries of ugliness and other stuff that just plain hurt my heart. Did I always respond as I should? The answer is NO! However, it is my responsibility to learn better and do better. That is it-period…no excuses.

So the next time you are confronted with the nasty from people-stay calm. You will throw them off track. Put in place the three C’s…Cool-Calm and Collected.

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Learning to Lean

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Is it hard to ask for help? It is for me. I have become increasingly more willing to ask since we adopted our three kids. With no family around us, I lean heavily on some in our church family.

Family is what God has provided for us in order to support us, love us, admonish us. It’s much easier, or should be, to ask biological family to do all of the above. But when they aren’t close, our church families should fulfill the role to help their brothers and sisters in Christ.

One thing I do know, I have missed opportunities to help others. I should have done better. We can get so caught up in our immediate surroundings that we don’t seek opportunities to help those around us. There will always be someone who needs encouragement. There will always be someone who needs support. There will always be someone who finds themselves lonely in the middle of a large crowd.

Be the difference for someone else. Help them know that when they lean, you are there for the fall.

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Why You Should Not Discipline Your Child.

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*You should not discipline your child IF you want your child to expect  that the world revolves around him/her. 

*You should not discipline your child IF you don’t want him/her ever mad at you.

*You should not discipline your child IF you believe he/she should not have to do something they don’t want to do.

*You should not discipline your child IF you have this idea that no one can tell you what you might could do better and differently.

*You should not discipline your child IF you believe that Proverbs 13:24…. “Whoever does not discipline his son hates him, but whoever loves him is diligent to correct him” is false teaching in the Bible.

*You should not discipline your child IF you don’t care what others think about him/her.

*You should not discipline your child IF you cannot connect obedience at home that will transfer to obedience to God.

 

It has also made me scratch my head when parents “make” their kids get vaccinated, stop them from touching a hot object or hitting their sister, give them no options when it comes to putting on clothes or going to school. But when it comes to molding behavior…so many parents just check out. Here’s some examples…

~Child says NO to parent….Parent starts bargaining or counting.

~Child continues in behavior that parent has corrected…Parents gives them the …”I asked you to stop that…sigh.”

~Child won’t speak to people or ignores you.. Parents excuses with “He’s tired.”

~Child goes into the homes of others and goes into “destructive mode.”  Parent…checked out.

~Child goes into scream mode to avoid doing what parent wants him/her to do….because it works every time!

 

Parenting IS THE HARDEST JOB IN THE WORLD. Will you make mistakes? Oh my…that is a BIG YES! But…there is a responsibility as an adult to BE the adult and discipline your children. It won’t hurt them. It’s what makes them into productive, joyful, compassionate, obedient human beings. Don’t cave parents when it comes to molding the behavior of your children. If you don’t do it…someone else or something else will do it for you and I guarantee you…you will not like the results. Loving your children is firm correction. That’s the truest of love because you see past the moment and look at their future as to who they can become.

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Why I Follow Jesus…

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What is happening in our world is nothing new. Wars…rumors of wars…disgusting behavior from people…persecution of Christians…all kinds of false teaching. How does one survive in such times?

How do I survive day after day?

Well…I follow Jesus.  I don’t follow people or groups of people. Why?

 

*I follow Jesus because He died for me. No man has done that for me.

*I follow Jesus because He loves me. No man has ever proved their love for me more than Jesus Christ.

*I follow Jesus because He provides me with the plan of Salvation. No man can save me.

*I follow Jesus because He hears my prayers and takes them to the Father. No man has that power.

*I follow Jesus because He will never discourage me. Sinful man will always discourage.

*I follow Jesus because His word is all I need to live this life and have eternal life.

*I follow Jesus because in HIM I can find comfort for every issue of life. 

*I follow Jesus because HE forgives and forgets. Man struggles with forgiving and forgetting.

*I follow Jesus because HE will never take me down the wrong path. Man has strayed from God’s word from the beginning of time…and that has not changed.

Who will follow Jesus

Standing for the right,

Holding up His banner in the thickest fight?

Listening for His orders, ready to obey

Who will follow Jesus, Serving Him today?

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